if i were crazy i would write poetry. all day.

walking down the head with my sidewalk

alone with pizza

and onion clouds

full of bees

that are angry

for all the wrong reasons

the bird walked into the door

because he forgot

to shave

newspaper clippings don't seem to gather dust

but guitars sure do.

if it rained upside down

that would be weird

because carpet isn't always green

and neither is green

but blue is.

walls that are ceilings

don't breathe like a normal rollercoaster

they open their hair

but that only makes them look

like makeup.

cows can't eat the moon

because their shirts are too tight.

crazy ladies where

olives on their fingers

and shout

I need pantyhose.

trees aren't penguins

but only because

of what children say

to their imaginary cauliflower

and also because

your foot fell asleep

listening to his mother

and crying like a cucumber

crackers grow on trees

but they don't follow orders

unless you shout

fat people wear yellow shorts

pizza can't climb trees

but the telephone doesn't listen

to the green pumpkin

down the street

the fat kid shit himself

luckily he wasn't wearing

girls underwear or mashed potatoes.

because then his mother

would call the fire department

to watch a movie

but no popcorn

because of backpacks

full of airplanes

if rivers were made of chocolate

i wouldn't wear bologna

the little boy down the street

would have more feet

or at least some graham crackers

if grandma's dress wasn't too short

for me to wear

underneath my dog

metal doesn't taste like chicken

and square soccer balls

weigh more

than full grown swimming pools

the wind doesn't taste good

I can't figure out blue

every bird I have talked to

wished they weren't so tired

maybe they should stop

shitting on peoples toupees

and take naps instead

or drink gatorade.

salt doesn't taste sweet

very often but when it does

you know that the granola in your hair

isn't upset at you

he's just afraid of tacos.

that's what I miss about rocks

and running isn't fun unless

you have one leg

lizards don't open their mouths much

but when they do make them swallow

bean burritos

sometimes they'll be so full

they might say

fuck, I'm one full lizard.

then clowns might remember

that even construction workers

eat bananas once in awhile.

and so is a palm tree

after all they are second cousins

and everyone knows what they say

about bowling pins.

or does a crayon perceive

the sleeping tiger

as one unfortunate refrigerator

full of pickles and

cartoon characters

midgets with genital warts

shouldn't be allowed to skydive

and neither should peanut butter

because gorillas

pick their noses

more often than

a picture of cows

wearing nothing but

shoes that are too big for them

it makes you wonder if

plastic breasts

have fights with trains.