wake me up when september ends

For some reason, perhaps psychic intuition, magic 8 ball or my smooth like crystal balls, I believe that this month is going to be one of the most important months in my life. I know, that sounds dramatic... but it's true. I feel like i am at the crux of many important happenings all nearing to a culmination that will shape the rest of my life. How they will shape my life I'm not sure. could be amazing, could be disappointing, could be lackluster, but different. I just feel like almost every area in my life is at a crossroads. and since there are so many crossroads that are going to be "crossed" the combined effect of every decision is impossible to predict. It's like reading those books when you were little... the ones that said, "if you go inside the door" turn to page 8, "if you run from the door and go find your friend turn to page 37" My life at this moment is the metaphorical form of that... and unlike when you're little, you can't cheat and see what option you should have chosen. social, occupational, health, leisure, every point in my life is a 2 to infinity pronged fork. and september is the month that i bite each fork so to speak.

some possible "forks" that will be thrown into the road map:
schooling-i have been thinking of going back. getting a masters or a phd. But I'm not really sure if I want to... i'm on the fence (or the fork) i suppose about this. I love school, I would undoubtedly meet some good eggs, but that's a big time commitmment, and may conflict with other thing.

dating etc. I feel like i could really amp up my desire to go out and meet lots of people and try and find that needle in my haystack. or i could just sit back, work on myself and my life and not actively pursue that.

work. Here, part of me wants to get a big buy job. Primarily to make social contacts. My social circle is attenuating, and a job would help bolster it I think. Furthermore, i think a job would be nice to get me into a 9-5 lifestyle that I never have had and give me some structure. But with that structure comes shackles. and then still further, i could continue down the entrepeneurial route which can be extremely rewarding but an arduous journey. No clue. My first investment house should sale this month. that will probably influence my decision... and then I'll surely buy a new house. the question I'm not sure of is whether to sell my condo or rent it out. do i start another deal? after learning what I've learned, do I go back to making money at poker? or some hodgepodge of all those. I honestly don't know. Right now I lean toward poker because of it's reliability. (ha that sounds funny). I know i can make money at poker, the problem is i can't have a full time job and make a lot at poker. there just isn't enough hours in the day. and then i want to perfect spanish and chinese to an infathomable level. i could do that during playing poker perhaps, but i wouldn't be able to play as many tables. so as these things start to iron themselves out (keep in mind there are other forks that are not currently being talked about either for brevity or anonymity) As you can see it's going to be a clusterfuck of decisions and most of them are coming to a head. so wake me up when semptember ends

enough rambling. we'll do rapid fire stream of thought style shit to describe my current feelings... always fun, at least for me. I'm sick of pretty girls that like me and that I could conceivably like back existing and me not doing shit about it. it's better to crash and burn then never race right? one would think so why con't we glue me fucking foot to the accelerator. I work out now. I eat fucking fantastically (calorically speaking) (gustatorially speaking... not as much) so I'm slim. I'm trim. makes me happy. I need to go tanning and get me teeth whitened. i'll probably get shitfaced tomorrow though for steve's concert. people need to be on the look out for blind dates they could set me up on. tell your friends, tell your friend's friends to put out the word. insanely amazing boy named lane looking to go out and meet people he doesn't know. today i had pumpkin soup and vegan hamburgers and a blueberry shake. healthy. yummy :)

i think i need to write out some goals.

perhaps that's the next option.