Wednesday, September 24, 2008

my hips hop

So... i've been giving some thought to the following month and halloween and the likes. For some reason, halloween seems to bring about some of the most memorable, exciting, inappropiate stories of my life. In an effort to make this year the opposite of an exception, I've resorted to getting my body in the best shape it has been in forever. Equipped with a delicious figure, I hope to take the numerous parties I go to by storm... however, I am undecided as to what i should wear for a costume... You handful of people that read this, give me some input. The only qualification; it has to be super slutty. the sluttier the better i believe. I have a few ideas in mind, but in an effort to not impede your creativity, they shall remain secretive. So hit me with your best ideas.


week two of hip hop class is in the books. I kicked ass and took names.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Started hip hop class yesterday. fuck. i should have brought gatorade and a snickers. it was fun though. I can't believe my formerly shy ass was actually willing to go take my two left feet and go to a dance class. who would have ever thought? Later that night, I went out to a show, and i straight busted out the silly corny routine we learned in class. it was precious. Andrew and i had a good laugh.
this blog is terrible. I apologize. I sleepy and such. Oh, I went to wendover for the first time in quite some time and played in a live poker game for the first time in a long time. i love free rooms, free food, free drinks, and getting paid to play cards. So silly that I can take a vacation like that and get paid to do so.
Friday I have to go to a wedding. It's crazy to see your friends get married. I looked back on all the people I used to know and all the people that are married now. Levi, Shawn, Tyler, Ben, Lance, Janessa, Jed, Anthony, and now Jake. I am becoming a minority. It seems that the unwed batchelor is becoming an endangered species. Strange. ah. c'est la vie.

on that note, i study chinese and go sleepy time

xoxo

Thursday, September 11, 2008

151

i have decided, upon reflection, that my ambien posts are classic. A wonderful treat to all my dedicated readers. my grammar, my spelling, may be shit. but admits it, they funny. Today, I am going to the mormon club. studio 600. I'm not going to lie, I'm inebriated. I will have to pretend to be sober to gain admittance. Wish me all the luck i need to pass with flying colors. i think that i will speak in a brittish accent. it makes me sound more sober. allo. thank you bloody much for lettin me in your club to get me groove on... cheers! foolproof. i am going to go shopping tomorrow. I need to overhaul my wardrobe and such. I am going to be yummy :) okay. native american angela and her hermana come over now. i leave. dance with mormonas. besos!

p.s. meow.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

so, i am now a landlord. we are renting out the house in ogden. Furthermore, i think that I am going to rent oujt the condo. Then buy a houe were andrew, sam, and my car can live. Should be in pretty good shape by the end of the month. except fucking quarterly taxes and house taxes. but shit is good. I looked at the typos above and decided I like them. deal with it ;p I still... cannot, for the life of me sleep. it's rather bothersome.

So Andrew and I are going to go out and do interesting things couple times a week. for the next four mondays we will be going to a hip hop dancing class. we may join a soccer or bowling league. may take piano lessons. maybe a wednesday charity night where we help the food bank or the shelters or something. So... to any of you with a desire to do random shit just to live life and make it interesting, give me or andrew a holler. Any suggestion will be open for discussion. it can be something weekly like the dance class, semi weekly, once a month, or just once (i.e. something like horseback riding or scrabble night... for all my nerrdy friends out there :p

I'm just ready to start doing some shit. so the end. think of things, and let me know. I will perhaps brainstorm tomorrow. well not tomorrow actually probably the next day.

some random ones off the top of me head
horseback riding
massages or spa treatments
pedicures or manicures
trip to wendover
ice skating (soon)
the zoo
opera or symphony if anyone wants to go with me
mayhbe a once a month where we get a fuckload of people together and go out to eat.
go to the shooting range
dance classes. salsa or breakdance after hip hop.
go to a fortune teller.
have a poker and cigar night.
strip club night
state fair soon.
date night. where we have at least 5 to 10 couples going
wiseguys
paintballing
hike to a waterfall
laser tag
pot luck bring dinner night.
demolition derby
date to a basketball, baseball, or hockey event.
art exhibit
finger paint
homestead.
get the grove sandwiches and have a picnic
fast carts
kava or matte.
hookah night
cherry hill batting cages
mini golf
great salt lake cruise
murder mystery
camping or smores
planetarium
ice cream
memory grove
organize blankets/food/gloves/etc.
mountain photography
nickelcade
shake from iceberg or shivers
indian or thai food.
mexican panaderia
papusas
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vvvvvvv

Sunday, September 7, 2008

some guy took a picture of my penis at the club last night :(

another day, more random incoherent rambling. I decided today that i would talk about nlp (very briefly and non-in depth and such). The one facet that I would like to address involves how your subconscious mind ignores negative commands. I think to most clearly elucidate my point I'll use and example. okay, now I want everyone to go into your head and do not think about a blue tree. The funny thing is your subsconcious cannot process the do not. so any normal human being, when doing that exercise will inevitably picture a blue tree. Now what does this mean. it has large-scale implications on how you should think and how you should live your life. For example if you want to lose weight. You shouldn't say i can't eat doughnuts, i can't do this, i can't do that. your body, and your pavlovian response to telling yourself i can't eat doughnuts is the same a telling yourself you can as far as your subconscious mind goes. Instead. focus on things that do not negate something. For example saying I don't want to be fat is bad. your subconcious still is "preoccupied" so to speak with the concept of you being fat. Instead, one should say, "I want to be skinny" or "it feels so great to eat right and have lots of energy" seems stupid. it really isn't nobody needs a blue tree in their mind. Furthermore, since apparently this turned into a pseudo-discussion about weight loss, I'll address a few more factors. Set goals. The way to set goals is an art. First off WRITE THEM DOWN. it processes it through your brain in a more bilateral way and increases your chances of success. Set goals that are challenging but attainable. If your goals are too easy you'll get bored; too hard, you'll get discouraged. Third, set goals that are easily defineable so you can determine if you're successful or not. Now when setting goals, they need to be concrete and able to be objectively measured and under your control. For example saying I want to lose weight is a horrible goal to have. First of all it's vague, second of all it doesn't outline an objective way to determine if you are headed in the wrong direction. a better goal would be. I want to lose 5 pounds by 2 weeks from today. HOWEVER, even this goal is flawed. weight is not something that you have control over. it fluctuates based on all sorts of variables you can't control (hormones, stress, blah blah blah). So instead the goal needs to be objectively and unbiasedly measureable as well as being very descriptive and lacking any vagueness. The right kind of goal for weight loss would be something like. I am going to eat 1200 calories or less every day, drink 64 oz of water everyday. and exercise 30 minutes on the treadmill three days a week. These are goals you have complete control over. losing five pounds on the otherhand is not in your control... and having a goal that isn't in your control is why people get so upset about dieting. they say they've eaten so well and exercised but haven't lost weight. You can't control when or how much weight you choose, but if you use goals in the way aforementioned, you will have clear cut boundaries to let you know if you are achieving your goals or not. This will lesson discouragement and ambivalence and ultimately create better results.

i am thinking that I want to start up a non-profit/volunteer program. i'm on the fence which direction i want to go, but I very much want to help the less fortunate. If any of you are interested or have any ideas, hit me up. the mindset i have about it thus far is very utilitarian. I want to extend the least amount of resources and time for the greatest result. There are charities out there that raise a lot of money and do a lot of good things. but i want to be able to do things that will be extremely beneficial with using as little resources as possible... more to come i'm sure.

i love harold and kumar 2. i watch it nightly. it makes me giggle.

i believe i have a date with me pillow now.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

a website i ran across.

I planned on writing an in depth blog about my views of politics. barack, biden, mccain, palin etc. I was going to write something i heard... that bush has spend more money during his presency than the first 42 presidents combined. I was going to do the research because this intrigued me. However, I ran across this anti-bush site... unsure how completely valid it is, but I find it rather interesting. I think if i saw this resume and he was applying to mcdonalds, I would probably pass on him.
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list of accomplishments of george bush (the alcoholic one)

Set all-time record for biggest loss of value in the history of the stock market during any presidency

I shattered records for the biggest annual deficit in history.

First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history and continued that practice throughout my term in office.

Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.

Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans while posing on aircraft carriers in a flgiht suit and despite praising the troops at every opportunity.

o Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

Dissolved or abandoned more international treaties than any president in US history.

o Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history

First president in US history to order an illegal, unilateral and unprovoked attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.

o First president in US history to start a war against the will of the United Nations and the world community

o Created the largest new government bureaucracy (Department of Homeland Security) in the history of the United States.
o First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.

o First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
o Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
o I ignored the United Nations demands and requirements pursuant to international law and warfare.

o Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and refused to abide by the Geneva Conventions regarding prisoners of war by cleverly classifying them as "enemy combatants", thereby allowing us to circumvent the Geneva Conventions.
o I was the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
o I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

o First US president in history to have the people of South Korea feel more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category into a sharply downward trend.

o My daddy pulled strings to get me into the National Guard and make sure I didn't have to serve abroad during the Viet Nam war, and then I went AWOL and deserted the military during wartime, for which I was not punished.
o I refused to take drug tests or answer any questions about drug use.
o I publicly claim to have been sober since my 40th birthday but I still take a drink now and then.
o All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been sequestered in my fathers library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
o All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed and unavailable for public view.
o All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed and unavailable for public view.
o Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and unavailable for public review.



Tuesday, September 2, 2008

wake me up when september ends

For some reason, perhaps psychic intuition, magic 8 ball or my smooth like crystal balls, I believe that this month is going to be one of the most important months in my life. I know, that sounds dramatic... but it's true. I feel like i am at the crux of many important happenings all nearing to a culmination that will shape the rest of my life. How they will shape my life I'm not sure. could be amazing, could be disappointing, could be lackluster, but different. I just feel like almost every area in my life is at a crossroads. and since there are so many crossroads that are going to be "crossed" the combined effect of every decision is impossible to predict. It's like reading those books when you were little... the ones that said, "if you go inside the door" turn to page 8, "if you run from the door and go find your friend turn to page 37" My life at this moment is the metaphorical form of that... and unlike when you're little, you can't cheat and see what option you should have chosen. social, occupational, health, leisure, every point in my life is a 2 to infinity pronged fork. and september is the month that i bite each fork so to speak.

some possible "forks" that will be thrown into the road map:
schooling-i have been thinking of going back. getting a masters or a phd. But I'm not really sure if I want to... i'm on the fence (or the fork) i suppose about this. I love school, I would undoubtedly meet some good eggs, but that's a big time commitmment, and may conflict with other thing.

dating etc. I feel like i could really amp up my desire to go out and meet lots of people and try and find that needle in my haystack. or i could just sit back, work on myself and my life and not actively pursue that.

work. Here, part of me wants to get a big buy job. Primarily to make social contacts. My social circle is attenuating, and a job would help bolster it I think. Furthermore, i think a job would be nice to get me into a 9-5 lifestyle that I never have had and give me some structure. But with that structure comes shackles. and then still further, i could continue down the entrepeneurial route which can be extremely rewarding but an arduous journey. No clue. My first investment house should sale this month. that will probably influence my decision... and then I'll surely buy a new house. the question I'm not sure of is whether to sell my condo or rent it out. do i start another deal? after learning what I've learned, do I go back to making money at poker? or some hodgepodge of all those. I honestly don't know. Right now I lean toward poker because of it's reliability. (ha that sounds funny). I know i can make money at poker, the problem is i can't have a full time job and make a lot at poker. there just isn't enough hours in the day. and then i want to perfect spanish and chinese to an infathomable level. i could do that during playing poker perhaps, but i wouldn't be able to play as many tables. so as these things start to iron themselves out (keep in mind there are other forks that are not currently being talked about either for brevity or anonymity) As you can see it's going to be a clusterfuck of decisions and most of them are coming to a head. so wake me up when semptember ends

enough rambling. we'll do rapid fire stream of thought style shit to describe my current feelings... always fun, at least for me. I'm sick of pretty girls that like me and that I could conceivably like back existing and me not doing shit about it. it's better to crash and burn then never race right? one would think so why con't we glue me fucking foot to the accelerator. I work out now. I eat fucking fantastically (calorically speaking) (gustatorially speaking... not as much) so I'm slim. I'm trim. makes me happy. I need to go tanning and get me teeth whitened. i'll probably get shitfaced tomorrow though for steve's concert. people need to be on the look out for blind dates they could set me up on. tell your friends, tell your friend's friends to put out the word. insanely amazing boy named lane looking to go out and meet people he doesn't know. today i had pumpkin soup and vegan hamburgers and a blueberry shake. healthy. yummy :)

i think i need to write out some goals.

perhaps that's the next option.