three, two, onesie!

Does she ever miss me?

god I miss her.

I had the most amazing horrible dream last night. I hate falling asleep. I can't keep myself from dreaming about her. The days are fantastic... but the thoughts creep in when I'm unconscious and I can't stop them. That's why I have insomnia. I dread sleeping. I know once I can't control my brain it will drift to her. and i suppose that is what it is. Life is funny. a rollercoaster that I wouldn't miss for the world. The ups, the downs, you can't have one without the other I suppose... but enough about that.

Sarah 1. you are fired. you were supposed to come hang out tonight... but you went mia. dumb. I wanted to see your face today.

Whitney, I love your fucking guts. You are the best friend I could ever ask for. You have been through some of the toughest times in my life, and you are single-handedly the reason I got through them. Not to mention, you have the most amazing smile and personality ever. Janessa, you too. seriously. You are the most amazing person in this world. I can't wait for you to be a mother. That kid is the luckiest kid in the world... and not only because of you and the myriad of positive characteristics you possess... but your husband is an amazing intelligent, compassionate, wonderful person too. I can't believe two amazing people like you ended up together. Seriously, your kid. aka my godchild *hint hint* is going to be the luckiest little bundle of flesh to ever be brought into this world. Vince, I have known you for 20 years, and you never cease to amaze me, you are an amazing person, and one of the few people that I can count on. I learn to be a better person when I hang out with you. Your sense of style, your humility, your ability to bring out the best in everybody around you in such a positive way fascinates me. Robert, I haven't seen you in so long, but my life is better for having known you. You are one of the few people with a totally different view on life that complements my life. My mind is expanded for having known you. I enjoy every second we ever hang out, and every conversation we've ever had. Samantha, words can't even express how much you have impacted my life. viva la project revolution. It will become my reality... and because of you. I am so completely ecstatic for your upcoming nuptuals. Out of anybody in the world, I would say that absolutely nobody is worthy to be with you. Except Steve. He is fantastic, smart, and a person that I am proud to call my friend... and nothing makes me happier than the fact that you guys are together. Sarah 1, despite you not texting me back, I think that you are one of the most beautiful, compassionate, intelligent, impressive people that I have ever met. Mario, Meredith, Sarah 2, I had so much fun with you guys tonight, and every night for that matter. Thank you for taking me out despite the fact I am in a pond of self pity and loneliness. I needed it, and I appreciate you more than you will ever know. Angela Oh, you don't read this, but you are such an amazing person, I can't believe how dedicated, driven, intelligent, social, and thoughtful you are. My life is better for having known you. Angela Larson, I can't wait for you to have your baby. Out of anyone, you are one of the most fun, most down to earth, gregarious, outgoing people that I have ever met, and I love every ounce of your native american guts. Joby, Camrann, I haven't seen you fucks in forever, but you have made me the person I am today. Thank you for your friendship, and the lengths you have gone to for me, I wouldn't know half the people I know today, I wouldn't have overcome my shyness, I wouldn't have known what friendship was without you. Mario, you Mexican fuck. I envy your personable nature and your outlook on life, I am glad that we have become friends, and can't wait to see what the future has in store for you and us as friends. Thank you. Brittany Thatcher, you are me, but with two x chromosomes. i envy the person you have become. You are a wonderful mother, a wonderful wife, and a wonderful friend. I aspire to be the person you are some day. you are amazing, on so many different levels. Chanda, I haven't seen you in forever, but I miss your smile, I miss your sense of humor, and I miss the way you understood me.... my quirkiness and all. lauren, you are one of the people that I can count on. You would drop anything for me if I needed the slightest of things. You are honest with me, and you have never ever been anything but a great friend. I love your face. Meredith, I have known you for a short time, but I must say that you are one of the most compassionate, fun to be around, prettiest people i have ever met. I love how much you care for animals, I love how nice and inclusive you are to me. Thank you. Sarah 2, You are sassy, pretty, witty, funny, and an immense pleasure to be around. You are going to take the world by storm, and I envy that. Sarah 4, I have also known you for a short time, but your drive, your intelligence, and your capacity for greatness blow me away. I'm happy to say that I know you. Celeste, I miss your guts. It's a shame you moved to Texas, you were, and are, one of my favorite people for countless reasons. Adam, you are a fuck for moving to Texas too. One of the few people that could teach me something, make me laugh, and be a sarcastic little bitch like me, all at the same time. Not to mention your taste in music was flawless. Last, but not least, Andrew. you are my roommate, my confidant, and the best friend anybody could ask for. The strange quirkiness of mine you put up with, the things you do for me, the complete and utter humility you have despite being one of the most amazing people I know, strikes me with awe and wonderment. I am proud of the person you are. Your son is blessed to have you as a father, and I am blessed to have you as a friend and as a roommate. You are a remarkable person, and I appreciate our friendship more than you will ever know. I could go on for days. These are the friends that I am blessed with.. My heart is full of love for each and everyone of you, as well as the ones that I didn't have time to get to. This isn't even beginning to get started on how wonderful my family is. Words can't capture, or begin to try to capture how thankful I am for my brother, sister in law, mother and father. Without them, I don't know what I would do. I could write an entire blog entry about each of them, but I don't have the time or the finger strength to write a novel that lengthy at this time. Suffice to say, everything that I admire about myself, I learned from one of them. I am the most blessed person in the world. My sincerity and gratitude will never be accurately encapsulated through words. Thank you to everyone. I skipped a few people, but know that you have equally touched my life. It's amazing what you can take for granted if you don't stop to think about the fortune you are blessed with. I love each and every one of you.


I'm wearing a onesie, chucks, and a mexico beanie. I look like a bad ass. and by bad, I mean retarded. There is a girl passed out in my bathroom, another passed out on my couch. life is funny. I reiterate, life is funny. Not funny like comedian funny. funny like tragic comedy funny. haha

kisses to all :)