Tuesday, November 11, 2008

wow. i wrote a lot

I feel like I need to make a private blog. I need to free the metaphorical bird of perversion and craziness from it's cage. However... I am not at liberty to do so I don't think. Suffice to say, the last couple weeks have been very interesting, very mind opening (no, i didn't do drugs), and just crazy to put it lightly. A run down of my week perhaps though I have some problems with remembering days and times, so it could be dumb and stupid. in fact. it will be dumb and stupid. So I changed my mind and am not going to write about it. Perhaps I'll write an essay on how to save the world.

first, my solution to healthcare. as you know... it is expensive as shit to take care of sick people, people with chronic conditions, people with mental retardation, old people, and babies born in poor health. To fix this, we need to get right down to the root of the problem. If you are a premature baby that's going to face expensive life saving operations, you no longer get those. Instead, the baby is left to die. we sell the good scientifically harvestable parts to scientist to undergo tests and experiments, we send the flesh to the homeless shelters to feed the less fortunate, and we peel off the skin and use it to make a coat, rug, skin gloves, or some other useful tool. Furthermore, the mother with the deceased child will continue to use a breast pump so that wal-mart can begin selling booby milk. This will a.) provide a source of income for the mother, and b.) drive the price of milk and its' derivitives lower. the hair (provided the baby or fetus has hair) can be used to make a wide arrangement of novelties such as hat, toupees, and boots with the "baby" fur.
Next order of business. life threatening (or expensive illnesses) aids. cancer, diabetes. auto-immune diseases. You will be euthanized, and your body harvested for the usable parts, the unusual parts sold to innovative companies to figure out how to extract the maximum energy from seemingly useless things. bones into hammers. Pubic hairs into sweaters, eyeballs into creey halloween costumes. No part shall be wasted.
Then clearly, if you become old and can no longer contribute in a meaningul way to the society; off with your head. This, aside from lessening the risks of dealing with an increasingly ailing baby boomer health epidemic also gets rid of the worries about social security and medicare and 401ks and pensions and the like. we kill (maybe the word neutralize is a better choice) the old wastes of sulfor, phosphorous, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, and hydtrogen and harvest them for their food, their property (which shall be redistributed fairly to their family), and perhaps turn them into an efficient fertilizer... not to mention save billions by not having to pay out the entitlements due (that we couldn't pay anymore anyway).
Now, the above may seem like a narrow-minded suggestion, but I don't really plan on killing the sick children, the chronically ill, or the elderly. Instead, they will be given a choice. Either the death outlined above, or the luxurious option of defending their country to avoid being put out to pasture. We will withdraw our current troops and save billions with our new infant infantries, chronically ill cavalcades, and elderly killing machines. Not only are these people worthless anyway... but they have diseases! If all goes according to plan, we can add another couple weapons to the tanks, guns, and bombs of traditional warfare. No my friends... now we will be equipped with coughs, sneezes, and festering infectious sores. we will "plague" them with difficulty that has never been seen before. and we don't have to pay them very much, what the hell else kind of work could they get hired for?
Another key to our military presence as well as a way to reduce crime domestically is to let the convicted killers and the mentally insane join the war efforts. Who better to kill people than those with experience, who better to battle out of crazy situations than crazy people? Who better to torture captives than somebody sadistic like charles manson. I don't think anybody could keep quiet if he was there interrogator.

Okay... so war basicallly solved. economy basically solved. Prison system pretty much solved except for non violent or minor offenders. Pedophiles, Drug dealers/ addicts and racist people not in for murder... just for beating the shit out of minorities. Pedophiles you get a special job. kindergarten-6th grade teachers. Who loves kids more than you guys? We can count on you to give them a "helping hand" any time and hope they "swallow" the "hard" challenges you give them. Racist assault mongers; you shall patrol the border. who would do a better job than you at keeping anybody different out! just remember to either wear a hood for you and your horse, or if you are a neo-nazi, apply a liberal amount of sunscreen to your shaved head. It is Na-zi smartest idea to go out sans sun screen in the scorching summer sun. use some common sense you silly sunburn-prone racists. Drug dealers. simple solution, drugs are now legal.... however, they are mandated by the government. they are taxed in much the same way as alcohol and tobacco. we make a killing off people being killed by buying lots of drugs. it's genius. Prostitution by the same token will be legalized to raise revenue. People are paying people for sex no matter where you go in some form or another. The government might as well have their fingers in it (pun intended) if possible... and make some fucking money off some "fucking money." Gambling. legal. would generate tons of revenue if the government taxed it. and... most importantly... I <3 gambling
energy etc. allow me to pontificate for a moment. eating animals is stupid for the environment. the gases produced by cows breaking wind and such are some of the biggest contributors to global warming. The rainforest is pretty much cut down to raise livestock.... which also contributes to global warming. the waste they produce isn't regulated and pollutes our streams and land. and from a efficiency standpoint. it makes no sense. we grow the grain, we feed the grain to the livestock (and take up valuable land to store them on), and then we eat the cow. The cow takes a lot of the nutrients when it eats the corn. and we are left with a kernel (another intended pun) of the nutritional value of the pre cow corn. a few random facts about vegetarianism will be included at the end of this blog. but for now. on with the show. Next. churches pay taxes. No reason for them to be exempt, they're about as political as any institution in existence. so they pay equal taxes.
Food stamps. stop letting people buy fucking cheetos and mountain dew. make them buy calorically rich foods so we get a "bang" for a tax payer buck.

ride the fucking bus. it is fun to stare at mentally ill people, and it saves a lot of gas.

shorts bigger than a size 15 for women. illegal.

guns are still legal (concealed) but more explicitly for hunting. One rule change though, if you are wearing camouflage, you are legally allowed to be fired on by fellow hunters or peta poachers.

back to the vegetarian propaganda etc. etc.
as it relates to efficiency: 20 vegetarians can live off the land required by one meat eater,
If all Americans became vegetarian, it would free enough grain to feed 600,000,000 people (the population of India),
1 acre yields 165 lbs of beef or 20,000 lbs of potatoes,
8/10 of cultivated land in the UK is used to grow food for animals (14,732,000 hectares),
It takes 16lbs of high protein soya to produce 1 lb of beef ,
over 25% of methane production comes from raising farm animals,
it takes 25 gallons of water to produce 1lb of wheat & 2500 gallons to produce 1lb of meat,
To produce 1calorie of energy from meat takes 60 calories of petrol (oil), whereas growing grains & legumes to directly feed people produces 20 calories for each calorie of fuel used ( thats 1200 times more efficient),
Meat & dairy farming uses billions of gallons of oil to run tractors, fuel ships & lorries (to move animal feed & animals), pump billions of gallons of water to irrigate fields & run slaughterhouses, power refrigeration units to prevent the corpses from decomposing & to power sewage plants to clean up some of the pollution produced
Cattle convert only 6% of their energy intake (mainly grains & soya) into flesh, the remaining 94% is wasted as heat, movement (which is why they keep many animals in very close confinement), hair, bones, feces etc
1lb of beef takes 1 gallon of petrol (oil) to produce
A family of four eating beef for a year uses enough petrol to run a car for 6 months (obviously depending on how far you drive!) ,
70% of all grain is fed to animals ,
Vegetarians have a 20% lower rate of mortality from all causes (ie. they live longer & don't get sick as often) ,
Vegetarians have 24% reduced risk of getting heart disease & Vegans a 57% reduction (heart disease is the biggest killer in the UK accounting for 50% of deaths) ,
Vegans & vegetarians have lower blood pressure & cholesterol levels - high levels are associated with heart disease, strokes & kidney failure
Vegetarians have a 50% reduced risk of dying of diabetes
Vegetarians have a 40% reduced level of cancer than the general population thought to be because they have a higher intake of vitamins A,C & E
Vegetarians have a reduced risk of developing gall & kidney stones
80% of food poisoning is due to infected meat (feces, bacteria etc.) after all meat is decomposing flesh - most of the rest is due to salmonella in eggs ,
Osteoporosis due to calcium loss from bones is mainly due to the sulphur content in meat & casein protein in milk that cause calcium to be lost in the urine - the countries with the highest meat & dairy consumption are those with the highest levels of brittle bones
50% of people do not have the enzyme to digest milk properly & milk allergy is related to asthma & eczema
Meat eaters have double the rate of Alzheimers disease as Vegans & Vegetarians - some people also think that Parkinsons disease is also linked to meat eating ,
Meat eaters are two and a half times more likely to get bowel cancer than Vegetarians
The cling film used to wrap meat in supermarkets & butchers contains chemicals linked to falling sperm counts in men
and last but not least apparently the only thing that actually works to improve the taste of
your semen is to become vegetarian.

"food for thought"

1 comment:

SJ said...

Wow, you do write a lot. But I like it! This one reminds me of Jonathan Swift's modest proposal.

P.S. Can you read my blog? If not, I need your e-mail to add you. I made mine private.