| I learned how to swear in chinese today. It made me happy :) I think I'm going to translate them literally and use them daily Wo xi wang ni man man si, dan kuai dian xia di yu! | I wish you a slow death, but a quick ride to hell! |
| 我希望你慢慢死，但快点下地狱。 | |
| Zhu tou | Pig head |
| 猪头 | |
| Qin wode pigu | Kiss my ass |
| 亲我的屁股 | |
| Gan ni niang | Motherfucker |
| 干你娘 | |
| Gou shi | Dog shit |
| 狗屎 | |
| Shi | Shit |
| 屎 | |
| Ni shi bai chi | You are an idiot |
| 你是白痴 | |
| Ni shi hun dan | You are a rotten egg |
| 你是混蛋 | |
| Ni shi sha gua | You are a fool |
| 你是傻瓜 | |
| Si lang gou | Dead man doggie |
| 死狼狗 | |
| Tong xing lian | Gay |
| 同性恋 | |
| Cao ni ma | Fuck your mother |
| 操你妈 | |
| Cao! | Fuck! |
| 操！ | |
| Ta ma de! | Oh Shit! |
| 他妈的！ | |
| Wo cao | (I) fuck |
| 我操！ | |
| Shen jing bing | Lunatic |
| 神经病 | |
| Sha gua | Retard (lit. stupid melon) |
| 傻瓜 | |
| Chun zi | Moron |
| 蠢子 | |
| Wang ba dan | Bastard |
| 王八蛋 | |
| Chou wang ba dan | Lousy bastard |
| 臭王八蛋 | |
| Ji nv | Whore |
| 妓女 | |
| Mai bi | Buy pussy |
| 买屄 | |
| Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai | Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors |
| 操你祖宗十八代 | |
| Ha bang | Suck one's dick |
| Ha wo deh bang | Suck my dick |
| Tian yin | Eat pussy |
| 舔阴 | |
| Gan ni ba | Fuck your dad |
| 干你爸 | |
| Gan ni lao shi | Fuck your teacher (for not teaching you) |
| 干你老师 | |
| Chi shi! | Go eat shit! (Equivalent to "Fuck off!") |
| 吃屎！ | |
| Diao | Dick, cock |
| 屌 | |
| Ji ba | Dick, cock |
| 鸡巴 | |
| Nee yin | Vagina (polite) |
| Ji bai | Pussy (bad insult to a man) |
| Bo ba | Huge tits |
| 波霸 | |
| Too zai zi | Son of a rabbit |
| 兔崽子 | |
| Yangwei | Impotent |
| 阳萎 | |
| Da diao | Big dick |
| 大屌 | |
| Yin yang ren | Hermaphrodite |
| 阴阳人 | |
| Lao mao | Pimp |
| Pi tiao ke | Trick (prostitute's client) |
| 皮条客 | |
| Gao wan | Testicles |
| 睾丸 | |
| Chou ba guai | Ugly as hell |
| Gan tsao | To fuck |
| Zi wei | Masturbate |
| 自慰 | |
| Yang gui zi | Foreign devil |
| 洋鬼子 | |
| Cao ni ma! | Fuck your mother! |
| 操你妈 | |
| Fang pi | To fart (lit. to let your ass go) |
| 放屁 | |
| Langun | Dick (lit. man root) |
| Ni meiyou langun | You have no dick! |
| Ni juede wo hen ben ma? | Do you think I'm an idiot? |
| 你觉得我很笨吗？ | |
| Ni shi pian zi! | You are a cheat! |
| Ni xin tai hei le! | Your heart is black! |
| 你心太黑了 | |
| Yanse lang | Male whore (lit. colored wolf) |
| Se mi mi de ren | Lecherous |
| 色迷迷的人 | |
| Si san ba | Bitch |
| Ni male ge bi | Your mother's a cunt |
| 你妈了个屄 | |
| Chou san ba | Bitch |
| 臭三八 | |
| Hu li jing | Bitch (a flirtatious woman) |
| 狐狸精 | |
| Shabi | Dumb cunt (used like motherfucker) |
| 傻屄 | |
| Da Shabi | Big dumb cunt |
| 大傻屄 | |
| Cho yade | Smelly slave wench |
| Cho ji bai | Smelly cunt |
| Da shou qiang | Masturbate |
| 打手枪 | |
| Wo cao ni ba bei zi zu zong | Fuck eight generations of your ancestors |
| 我操你八辈子祖宗 | |
| Tzau ni Daye | Fuck your uncle |
| Ni ya lian zhang de gen lan bi shi de | You have a face like a rotting cunt |
| 你丫脸长的跟烂屄似的 | |
| Gun dan | Fuck off |
| 滚蛋 | |
| Pi hua | Bullshit |
| 屁话 | |
| Chi shi | Eat shit |
| 吃屎 | |
| Chi wo de shi | Eat my shit |
| 吃我的屎 | |
| Chee jiao | Eat my dick (lit: eat banana) |
| Gan ni lao ma pi gu | Fuck your mother's ass |
| 干你老妈屁股 | |
| Qu di yu | Go to hell! |
| 去地狱 | |
| Wo cao ni ye ye de sao pi yan | Fuck your grandfather's piss stinking arsehole |
| 我操你爷爷的骚屁眼 | |
| Cao ni de xing | Fuck your family name |
| 操你的姓 | |
| Ni you piao liang de lv mao zi | Your wife is cheating on you (lit. you have a pretty green hat) [Strong insult in China] |
| 你有漂亮的绿帽子 | |
| Wa Cao(ch-ao)! | Holy fuck! |
| Ni shi wo de biao zv | You are my bitch |
| Cao ni gege | Fuck your older brother |
| Cao ni didi | Fuck your younger brother |
| 你有问题 | You have a (mental) problem |
| Nide muchin shr ega da wukwei | Your mother is a big turtle |
Thursday, January 31, 2008
fuck eight generations of your ancestors, you have a face like a rotting cunt
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I'm like a bird (a dove to be exact)
in my front yard today, a falcon swooped from the sky and pounced on an unsuspecting dove. First of all... what the fuck is a dove doing in my front yard? Second... what the fuck is a falcon doing in my front yard? Third... what the fuck? I felt like I was watching a discovery special on predatory birds... does that shit really happen in the suburbs? This dove was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It was the purest color white. So pretty, so innocent, so pure.
I saw two things. That beautiful, breathtaking white bird, the blood staining it's immaculate feathers. Its ravaged body laying in the snow, twitching in excruciating pain as as the life was leaving it's body.
and the falcon... this predatory parasite of a beast engrossed in carnage, ripping out the flesh of this bird with an insatiable fervor.
and I thought about it as it symbolically encapsulates relationships... and I started to think would I rather be the falcon or the dove... would I rather be so beautiful, so pure, so trusting and innocent and meet metaphorical carnage... or would I rather be the falcon. cold, calculating, no remorse, but with the absence of vulnerability?
I saw two things. That beautiful, breathtaking white bird, the blood staining it's immaculate feathers. Its ravaged body laying in the snow, twitching in excruciating pain as as the life was leaving it's body.
and the falcon... this predatory parasite of a beast engrossed in carnage, ripping out the flesh of this bird with an insatiable fervor.
and I thought about it as it symbolically encapsulates relationships... and I started to think would I rather be the falcon or the dove... would I rather be so beautiful, so pure, so trusting and innocent and meet metaphorical carnage... or would I rather be the falcon. cold, calculating, no remorse, but with the absence of vulnerability?
Sunday, January 27, 2008
i really like nice people. It's funny how far and few between they are. i was hanging out with a certain girl today, and I have to say that she is one of the most noble people I've ever met. In fact, let's just give her the nickname noble .I was with the Noble, and about 10 of her friends. A couple of the people there were mad at one of their "friends" and started to talk all sorts of malevolent, slanderous, hurtful shit. Everybody jumped on the shit-talking bandwagon. The ring-leader was the best friend of Noble. People kept saying so and so is a bitch... isn't she noble! Noble, time and time again said... No, I think she's nice. No, I like her... etc etc.
I asked myself, how many people would do that... how many people would stand up to a gang of their friends and take the side of somebody that wasn't even there... the answer to my rhetorical question... not very many.
There's not a lot of people that I admire, Noble is definitely an exception. i love people that are genuinely nice... people that look for the good qualities in people instead of the bad. People that you know that when you aren't around them, they still have nothing but good things to say about you. I hope to surround myself with those people. I hope to be one of those people.
For some reason, it seems to be human nature to talk shit. Some innate instinct to belittle in order to boost your own ego. However, if you look at it from a logical perspective, in today's society, it's counter-evolutionary. i think that few people realize this important fact. Talking shit, though intended to make you look better, makes you look like a complete douchebag. How often do you hear somebody say... "Oh my god, I love so and so... you should hear the mean things they say about this person! It's awesome. They're so ruthless and conniving, I want to surround myself with them and put all my trust in them!" um... no. That's absurd. I'm also a firm believer that the opposite is actually true. I think that if you have good things to say about a person when they aren't around, or you stick up for somebody when they aren't around, it makes people really respect and admire you.
Hypothetical situation... maybe it's just my perception... but imagine the following scenario playing out. scenario a.)) Charlie, Tom, and Carl work together. Carl walks away and Tom says to Charlie.... "that Carl is so stupid, and the only reason he works here is because his cousin used to work here.
scenario b.)) Charlie, Tom, and Carl... again, Carl walks away Tom says to Charlie "Tom is such a smart guy, and he works so hard. I'm glad we work with him.
which Tom would you like more? the one in scenario a, or the one in scenario b?
it seems so obvious to me... but apparently it's not, because gossip and vilification seem to be the norm. So the moral of the story. Be nice. Ignore your instinct to talk shit. It only makes you look like an asshole. Take the high road. You'll be a better person for it, and other people will think so too. I apologize that I write like an elementary school kid. my thoughts are disjointed, unorganized, and horribly written.. . not to mention my grammar is shit, and I use ellipses a million times in each couple of lines. I'm going to blame it on the klonopine. hopefully nobody will talk shit about me because of it ;)
okay. tangent this deserves a blog of it's own... but I'm tired and figure I should say something about it in passing at least. First, I bought a new car. A 51 Dodge Business Coupe. It's a 12 second car... which means nothing to feminine lane... but I'm told it's pretty damn fast. It has flames and is super masculine. ha! I'm excited. I'm a manly man bitches ;) In all actuality, there was two reasons I got it. one a chance to bond with my father... that's his livelihood, and it will be nice to have some common bond with him. Second of all, it was a very good investment. My dad gets super cheap deals on cars, and I got this car for an amazing price. As far as me going fast or having an expensive car... not really for me... i think it will be kind of silly to see me having the car. So not my style. But, I'm very excited about it.
Oh also, I bought an investment house in ogden. 69k needs 25k in work. fixed up should be able to sell for 125 worst case scenario... 140 best case scenario... and that 25k in work is contracted out... because most of us know that I haven't done an ounce of hard work in my life... and I certainly don't intend to start now :) Furthermore, I lent some money for a share of equity in a reak estate llc called "vaunt equities" which contains 5 rental properties the mortgage on them is 1773$, the current rent with two out of the five houses rented is 1600$. and there's about 100k equity in them. Basically, what it comes down to me is I get a healthy return on my money as defined in a contract, and if not, i get a 50% stake in "vaunt equities" Pretty nervous/excited about the whole thing. Oh and there's a condo in my unit that is for rent... and it's for rent for 850. that makes me happy. Since I have no mortgage, if i decided to rent my condo and went back and lived with mommy i could make 850 a month... or i could buy a new house and use the 850 to offset mortgage costs.
and poker was fantastic today. that makes me happy. My day was absolutely amazing except for the fact that I didn't get to go see my friend Mike's band play. i was super excited to see them play. i love mike... and he's a talented little fucker too and I would have liked to be a groupie maybe throw him my unmentionables on stage. ;) supposedly it was videocamerad yes, i just made the word videocamera into a verb, and then conjugated it to the past participle. deal with it :p
kisses
I asked myself, how many people would do that... how many people would stand up to a gang of their friends and take the side of somebody that wasn't even there... the answer to my rhetorical question... not very many.
There's not a lot of people that I admire, Noble is definitely an exception. i love people that are genuinely nice... people that look for the good qualities in people instead of the bad. People that you know that when you aren't around them, they still have nothing but good things to say about you. I hope to surround myself with those people. I hope to be one of those people.
For some reason, it seems to be human nature to talk shit. Some innate instinct to belittle in order to boost your own ego. However, if you look at it from a logical perspective, in today's society, it's counter-evolutionary. i think that few people realize this important fact. Talking shit, though intended to make you look better, makes you look like a complete douchebag. How often do you hear somebody say... "Oh my god, I love so and so... you should hear the mean things they say about this person! It's awesome. They're so ruthless and conniving, I want to surround myself with them and put all my trust in them!" um... no. That's absurd. I'm also a firm believer that the opposite is actually true. I think that if you have good things to say about a person when they aren't around, or you stick up for somebody when they aren't around, it makes people really respect and admire you.
Hypothetical situation... maybe it's just my perception... but imagine the following scenario playing out. scenario a.)) Charlie, Tom, and Carl work together. Carl walks away and Tom says to Charlie.... "that Carl is so stupid, and the only reason he works here is because his cousin used to work here.
scenario b.)) Charlie, Tom, and Carl... again, Carl walks away Tom says to Charlie "Tom is such a smart guy, and he works so hard. I'm glad we work with him.
which Tom would you like more? the one in scenario a, or the one in scenario b?
it seems so obvious to me... but apparently it's not, because gossip and vilification seem to be the norm. So the moral of the story. Be nice. Ignore your instinct to talk shit. It only makes you look like an asshole. Take the high road. You'll be a better person for it, and other people will think so too. I apologize that I write like an elementary school kid. my thoughts are disjointed, unorganized, and horribly written.. . not to mention my grammar is shit, and I use ellipses a million times in each couple of lines. I'm going to blame it on the klonopine. hopefully nobody will talk shit about me because of it ;)
okay. tangent this deserves a blog of it's own... but I'm tired and figure I should say something about it in passing at least. First, I bought a new car. A 51 Dodge Business Coupe. It's a 12 second car... which means nothing to feminine lane... but I'm told it's pretty damn fast. It has flames and is super masculine. ha! I'm excited. I'm a manly man bitches ;) In all actuality, there was two reasons I got it. one a chance to bond with my father... that's his livelihood, and it will be nice to have some common bond with him. Second of all, it was a very good investment. My dad gets super cheap deals on cars, and I got this car for an amazing price. As far as me going fast or having an expensive car... not really for me... i think it will be kind of silly to see me having the car. So not my style. But, I'm very excited about it.
Oh also, I bought an investment house in ogden. 69k needs 25k in work. fixed up should be able to sell for 125 worst case scenario... 140 best case scenario... and that 25k in work is contracted out... because most of us know that I haven't done an ounce of hard work in my life... and I certainly don't intend to start now :) Furthermore, I lent some money for a share of equity in a reak estate llc called "vaunt equities" which contains 5 rental properties the mortgage on them is 1773$, the current rent with two out of the five houses rented is 1600$. and there's about 100k equity in them. Basically, what it comes down to me is I get a healthy return on my money as defined in a contract, and if not, i get a 50% stake in "vaunt equities" Pretty nervous/excited about the whole thing. Oh and there's a condo in my unit that is for rent... and it's for rent for 850. that makes me happy. Since I have no mortgage, if i decided to rent my condo and went back and lived with mommy i could make 850 a month... or i could buy a new house and use the 850 to offset mortgage costs.
and poker was fantastic today. that makes me happy. My day was absolutely amazing except for the fact that I didn't get to go see my friend Mike's band play. i was super excited to see them play. i love mike... and he's a talented little fucker too and I would have liked to be a groupie maybe throw him my unmentionables on stage. ;) supposedly it was videocamerad yes, i just made the word videocamera into a verb, and then conjugated it to the past participle. deal with it :p
kisses
Friday, January 25, 2008
Quotes. P.S. I'm lonely and sad today. Cry Cry. Sam is the best roommate ever though... and chile relleno burritos make me happy in my stomach.
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.- Thomas Szasz
Good judgments come from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment
-Harry Lepatner
idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows
David T Wolf
to endeavor to forget anyone is a certain way of thinking of nothing else
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge
our most important thoughts are those which contradict our emotions
-Paul Valery
Serious things cannot be understood without laughable things, nor opposites at all without opposites.
-Plato
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish
-Aeschylus
Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught
-Oscar Wilde
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought
-Albert Von Szent-Gyorgyi
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook
-William James
A wise man's questions contains half the answer
-Gabirol
To want to forget something is to think of it
-French Proverb
A pessimist is a man that thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
-Chauncey Mitchell Depew
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.- Thomas Szasz
Good judgments come from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment
-Harry Lepatner
idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows
David T Wolf
to endeavor to forget anyone is a certain way of thinking of nothing else
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge
our most important thoughts are those which contradict our emotions
-Paul Valery
Serious things cannot be understood without laughable things, nor opposites at all without opposites.
-Plato
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish
-Aeschylus
Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught
-Oscar Wilde
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought
-Albert Von Szent-Gyorgyi
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook
-William James
A wise man's questions contains half the answer
-Gabirol
To want to forget something is to think of it
-French Proverb
A pessimist is a man that thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
-Chauncey Mitchell Depew
Thursday, January 24, 2008
sleepy/thankful
The last couple few months has been a rather transitional phase for me. I'm an entirely different person than I was just a short time ago. Apparently I'm not the least bit shy anymore. Apparently I'm ambitious. Apparently I have goals.
I go to school. I buy houses. I buy cars. I talk to people. I buy big boy beds. I meet girls that are cute and lawyers and smart and such. In fact, I would have to say that I have recanted what I said earlier about relationships. I've met a few very impressive people as of late, and it has restored my confidence in the opposite sex. I finally talked to "one" for the first time since the first time. I met an amazing girl we'll call "bar girl" and please take note of the double entendre. ;) I met a girl with a stupid name that has accomplished so much in such a short period of time that I feel intimidated by her presence.
I've severed ties with parasitic friends and cultivated symbiotic relationships with new friends. I make an effort to surround myself with positive people. Sam, Mike, Sarah, Whit, jenni, adam, vince... I love you all. You've had an insanely positive impact on my life, and words won't ever describe how much I appreciate it.
shit. i need to do homework now. kisses
I go to school. I buy houses. I buy cars. I talk to people. I buy big boy beds. I meet girls that are cute and lawyers and smart and such. In fact, I would have to say that I have recanted what I said earlier about relationships. I've met a few very impressive people as of late, and it has restored my confidence in the opposite sex. I finally talked to "one" for the first time since the first time. I met an amazing girl we'll call "bar girl" and please take note of the double entendre. ;) I met a girl with a stupid name that has accomplished so much in such a short period of time that I feel intimidated by her presence.
I've severed ties with parasitic friends and cultivated symbiotic relationships with new friends. I make an effort to surround myself with positive people. Sam, Mike, Sarah, Whit, jenni, adam, vince... I love you all. You've had an insanely positive impact on my life, and words won't ever describe how much I appreciate it.
shit. i need to do homework now. kisses
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
this blog entry doesn't have a title
So, Last night was interesting to say the least. Full of excitement, adventure, nostalgia, new acquaintances, condoms on a stick, engaging conversation, networking, and many steps in my progression of social competence. I haven't time to expand on them all, so we'll focus on the different people that I met, ran into, etc.
First... I walk in the club, and see an ex-girlfriend I haven't seen forever.
First... I walk in the club, and see an ex-girlfriend I haven't seen forever.
Friday, January 11, 2008
so. First and foremost, Samantha Odle is the shit. I loves her. She is super thoughtful, and a delight to have as a roommate, friend and confidant. Yesterday, I told her I wanted body spray in passing... today she brought me some. She basically does all sorts of shit for me, and keeps me headed in the right direction. One day, I'll write a blog at length about her, but for now, I'll just they that she is an amazing, intelligent, charming, witty, fantastic person... and her coming into my life is one of the most positive things that has ever happened to me, and I am so thankful and honored to have her there looking out for me and helping me with life's little stumbling blocks. There aren't a lot of people I think so highly of... except for of course myself (damn you Narcissus and your complex!)... but she is a wonderful person, and a breath of fresh air in this sometimes stale world.
This makes me want to write a journal about all of my friends, and what I appreciate in each of them. Perhaps I'll get to that at a later date. Perhaps not; I'm forgetful.
So, I went to the jazz game tonight. good times. It's not often you'll see me go on a date. The idea of one on one interaction with somebody that I don't know very well makes me terribly uncomfortable. However, in the spirit of growth, I bucked up and went through with it. It actually went fabulously, fabulously well. I was never at a loss for words, the conversation was engaging, and I had a lot of fun. It seemed as though she had a lot of fun too, and there was not the least bit of awkwardness or discomfort. We were both laughing and chatting and having a gay old time. Fucking big step for me. Hip hip hooray! Apparently sometimes I'm not shy. Now if only I can make that a daily occurrence.
tomorrow. Friday. That should be the meet people night. we'll see how that goes. I may have to work saturday morning which will impede my plans of social merriment, but we'll see. It feels like there are so many people that I haven't hung out with in forever, and I want to change that. I should make a list or something. Some of my best friends, I haven't seen in such a long time... that's not really acceptable, and I need to get on that. I have, however, made some new friends. Mike and Steve. Mike is me, only taller, darker, and more handsome. Same sense of humor, funny as shit, a great pleasure to be around. i believe that him and I could do some damage with the ladies. and perhaps someday, we'll make it so. Steve is a fucking teddy bear. seriously one of the sweetest most genuine, polite, kind, fun to be around people I have ever met. I also admire him being strong in his convictions, but not the least bit judgmental. Those people are a rarity in this world, and I'm glad that I met him.
Oh, chinese characters are a pain in the ass to write... I thought I had bad handwriting in english... shit... chinese makes my english penmanship look impeccable.
I kind of feel like going to the tavernacle tomorrow, perhaps I'll make it so... I rather enjoy the piano and the relaxed atmosphere. and no smoke = muy bueno. usually a good amount of pretty people there too... and the bartender is kind of a cutie. Fuck, Sam, remind me to get in touch with my friend steve. i need to hang out with him soon. I have an appointment with my doctor at 4:30 (that's a fucking late appointment) to hopefully get more klonopine. He's kind of a douche, so we'll see if I get any, but I think that they do very well to squelch the severity of panic that I occasionally succumb to.
after that, mass text message to see what the story for the night is. FYI, my girl stasia is working at the hotel tomorrow, and I can get whomever I would like in for free, so if that intrigues you... hit me up.
I wish I was tired. This whole not being tired in the night time shit is overrated. I need to post my resume on monster, get a big girl job. Sam, remind me to do that too. Shit Sam, I put a lot of pressure on you to be my personal sticky note. I should just go write it on the mirror or something. but the bathroom is at least 10 feet away, and that's beyond unacceptable. Oh This week, we should do something as a group. wednesday bowling night, tuesday cheap popcorn movie night, thursday margarita night, sunday wiseguys, maybe friday sushi. Something fun, exciting and such.
Shit. I'm a random, rambling man. I think I go nighty night. Maybe read the book I've been reading. Tis fantastic.
tomorrow shall be a motherfucking delight.
ciao bitches. muchos kisses.
This makes me want to write a journal about all of my friends, and what I appreciate in each of them. Perhaps I'll get to that at a later date. Perhaps not; I'm forgetful.
So, I went to the jazz game tonight. good times. It's not often you'll see me go on a date. The idea of one on one interaction with somebody that I don't know very well makes me terribly uncomfortable. However, in the spirit of growth, I bucked up and went through with it. It actually went fabulously, fabulously well. I was never at a loss for words, the conversation was engaging, and I had a lot of fun. It seemed as though she had a lot of fun too, and there was not the least bit of awkwardness or discomfort. We were both laughing and chatting and having a gay old time. Fucking big step for me. Hip hip hooray! Apparently sometimes I'm not shy. Now if only I can make that a daily occurrence.
tomorrow. Friday. That should be the meet people night. we'll see how that goes. I may have to work saturday morning which will impede my plans of social merriment, but we'll see. It feels like there are so many people that I haven't hung out with in forever, and I want to change that. I should make a list or something. Some of my best friends, I haven't seen in such a long time... that's not really acceptable, and I need to get on that. I have, however, made some new friends. Mike and Steve. Mike is me, only taller, darker, and more handsome. Same sense of humor, funny as shit, a great pleasure to be around. i believe that him and I could do some damage with the ladies. and perhaps someday, we'll make it so. Steve is a fucking teddy bear. seriously one of the sweetest most genuine, polite, kind, fun to be around people I have ever met. I also admire him being strong in his convictions, but not the least bit judgmental. Those people are a rarity in this world, and I'm glad that I met him.
Oh, chinese characters are a pain in the ass to write... I thought I had bad handwriting in english... shit... chinese makes my english penmanship look impeccable.
I kind of feel like going to the tavernacle tomorrow, perhaps I'll make it so... I rather enjoy the piano and the relaxed atmosphere. and no smoke = muy bueno. usually a good amount of pretty people there too... and the bartender is kind of a cutie. Fuck, Sam, remind me to get in touch with my friend steve. i need to hang out with him soon. I have an appointment with my doctor at 4:30 (that's a fucking late appointment) to hopefully get more klonopine. He's kind of a douche, so we'll see if I get any, but I think that they do very well to squelch the severity of panic that I occasionally succumb to.
after that, mass text message to see what the story for the night is. FYI, my girl stasia is working at the hotel tomorrow, and I can get whomever I would like in for free, so if that intrigues you... hit me up.
I wish I was tired. This whole not being tired in the night time shit is overrated. I need to post my resume on monster, get a big girl job. Sam, remind me to do that too. Shit Sam, I put a lot of pressure on you to be my personal sticky note. I should just go write it on the mirror or something. but the bathroom is at least 10 feet away, and that's beyond unacceptable. Oh This week, we should do something as a group. wednesday bowling night, tuesday cheap popcorn movie night, thursday margarita night, sunday wiseguys, maybe friday sushi. Something fun, exciting and such.
Shit. I'm a random, rambling man. I think I go nighty night. Maybe read the book I've been reading. Tis fantastic.
tomorrow shall be a motherfucking delight.
ciao bitches. muchos kisses.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
what a waist :)
Yeah, so I'm done getting ready... I'm wearing a size 9 pant... and I have to wear a belt. Pretty fucking happy about that.
school, dates, and "1"
So... Today started out poorly. The alarm had some sort of malfunction, or I turned it off in a sleep induced stupor... whichever the case, I woke up to sam knocking on my door and saying, "aren't you going to school Lane?" I said "what time is it?" She said, "12." I said "fuck," rolled over, and went back to sleep. Woke up at 1. Made some money, went to my mother's to visit Prince, and now, here I sit, writing this blog... Oh, and I checked the mail today, and the items I got from full tilt poker had arrived. Yay for free shit! :) Lane has a date tonight. Hip Hip hooray! She is picking me up, and we are going to a jazz game. I'm Pretty sad that I need a fucking haircut... but we're going to have to work with what we've got. she gets out of school at 7, and the game starts at 8:30. Wish me luck bitches :)
On that note, let's talk about girls, me, and the like. The plan from here on out, is to date. Lots of dating. I tend to meet a lot of girls when I go out. at least a few phone numbers each time, sometimes shitloads of phone numbers. What do I do after that? Nothing... fucking nothing. I don't call them, i don't woo them, I get caught up in my complacency. I've met a lot of interesting girls recently, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why I haven't called them... I like to pawn it off on shyness, but perhaps it's self-sabotage. So. the game plan. weekends, meet girls. weekdays, woo them. and go on dates and the like. I have a couple girls in my chinese class that I have my eye on too. One in particular, she just got back from teaching english in china. She's super hot, and I dig her style. I started the first steps of the whole process, and I'm going to make it happen. I'm sick of my timidity preventing me from doing things, and I think I'm getting close to the point that I'm ready to burst out of my coccoon, and become the social butterfly that's been forming inside for years. Easier said than done I suppose... but already I've noticed a change in myself. in the however many years I went to school at the u, I basically met nobody. made no friends to speak of... because I was shy as shit. First day of school I already made friends, introduced myself and the like. Got two phone numbers (from guys, but still a big step for me). As I type, I'm patting myself on the back.
I'm also putting the word out, that I am all about getting set up on blind dates. If you know a cute, single girl... put in good words about me, and send her my way. Janessa is hooking me up with a friend of hers from her flight attendant days. As readers of my blog, it is your duty to do the same ;)
sigh... a short time ago, I met... we'll call her code name "1" She is a friend of a friend. This girl intimidates the shit out of me. She's going to the U to get her masters in mathematics (where she has a 4.0), she was her high school valedictorian, and she is unbelievably beautiful, funny, and stylish. She was a cheerleader in high school... and um yeah... needless to say, I'm a big fan. Well, I hung out with her once, For about 10 hours. There was alcohol, cock blockery, and tons of fun involved. We bonded well, and got along famously. Thanks to my amigo tequila, I was social as shit, and good fun to be around... Furthermore, a couple of her friends were paying me a lot of attention, so the fact that she had to compete for my time helped I think. On the other hand, there were lots of guys swooning over her. (fuck, I hate social dynamics). However, If I want to be, I am very good at defusing such situations. There was this little short shit that was perhaps the littlest biggest cock block in the world, and if I wasn't a peaceful man, I'd have handled him. disrespectful, dumb, just a total douchebag. Well, the night ends with me bitten by the love bug... sigh... but, i think that she was totally into me. All i have to do is make it happen. Have I? No. somebody slap some sense into me. Sam... Next time you see me, slap me. Say get in touch with "1" and see to it that I do exactly that.
On that note, let's talk about girls, me, and the like. The plan from here on out, is to date. Lots of dating. I tend to meet a lot of girls when I go out. at least a few phone numbers each time, sometimes shitloads of phone numbers. What do I do after that? Nothing... fucking nothing. I don't call them, i don't woo them, I get caught up in my complacency. I've met a lot of interesting girls recently, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why I haven't called them... I like to pawn it off on shyness, but perhaps it's self-sabotage. So. the game plan. weekends, meet girls. weekdays, woo them. and go on dates and the like. I have a couple girls in my chinese class that I have my eye on too. One in particular, she just got back from teaching english in china. She's super hot, and I dig her style. I started the first steps of the whole process, and I'm going to make it happen. I'm sick of my timidity preventing me from doing things, and I think I'm getting close to the point that I'm ready to burst out of my coccoon, and become the social butterfly that's been forming inside for years. Easier said than done I suppose... but already I've noticed a change in myself. in the however many years I went to school at the u, I basically met nobody. made no friends to speak of... because I was shy as shit. First day of school I already made friends, introduced myself and the like. Got two phone numbers (from guys, but still a big step for me). As I type, I'm patting myself on the back.
I'm also putting the word out, that I am all about getting set up on blind dates. If you know a cute, single girl... put in good words about me, and send her my way. Janessa is hooking me up with a friend of hers from her flight attendant days. As readers of my blog, it is your duty to do the same ;)
sigh... a short time ago, I met... we'll call her code name "1" She is a friend of a friend. This girl intimidates the shit out of me. She's going to the U to get her masters in mathematics (where she has a 4.0), she was her high school valedictorian, and she is unbelievably beautiful, funny, and stylish. She was a cheerleader in high school... and um yeah... needless to say, I'm a big fan. Well, I hung out with her once, For about 10 hours. There was alcohol, cock blockery, and tons of fun involved. We bonded well, and got along famously. Thanks to my amigo tequila, I was social as shit, and good fun to be around... Furthermore, a couple of her friends were paying me a lot of attention, so the fact that she had to compete for my time helped I think. On the other hand, there were lots of guys swooning over her. (fuck, I hate social dynamics). However, If I want to be, I am very good at defusing such situations. There was this little short shit that was perhaps the littlest biggest cock block in the world, and if I wasn't a peaceful man, I'd have handled him. disrespectful, dumb, just a total douchebag. Well, the night ends with me bitten by the love bug... sigh... but, i think that she was totally into me. All i have to do is make it happen. Have I? No. somebody slap some sense into me. Sam... Next time you see me, slap me. Say get in touch with "1" and see to it that I do exactly that.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
college kid
I start school tuesday. noon. early as shit, for sure, but I'll manage. I'm excited, it's been a long time since I've been in a scholastic environment, a long time since I couldn't get away with being lazy. It'll be good for me. what am I going to wear? oh shit, I have to start thinking about that stuff. Eek, I need pencils, paper, all that stuff too... damn, somebody who reads this... perhaps my charming roommate, remind me... I'm going to forget.
guitar hero
Sam and I, in an effort to have a more hospitable and entertaining condominium, have recently purchased a copy of the ever growing fad "guitar hero" and it's subsequent versions. We went all over hell chasing wild geese. Twas ridiculous. So at the moment, we have one guitar. Which means that we can entertain people by making them watch us play. I believe that i'm going to go get a guitar and such right now. Supposedly, they're going to get a shipment in today... however, with the imbecility that pervaded the stores we encountered, My hopes are the opposite of high. I've never been one for video games... I'd much rather play poker instead. Guitar hero, however, has struck a chord with my heart; pun intended. ;)
perfection personified
Love, companionship, all that jazz. I walk the line between cynicism and realism. I feel like an elderly eskimo drifting away into inevitability. I'm old. I'm past my prime.
I did some digging around, and I found some interesting information about marriage and the like.
The percentage of women ages 30-34 who have never been married is 22 percent. hmmm. not so bad I suppose. Now what percent of those people are "marriage material" according to my standards? First, to preface my standards... I'm going to aim low with what I want from a woman, and for the sake of argument, I'll exclude using bayesian inference and personal judgments to wittle that 22% to an even more pathetic number. We're sticking with 22%... no, in fact, let's give it an artificial bump and call it 1/4. The assumption is that each person is equally likely to get married... from a stunning millionaire supermodel; to a wife beating, broke, pile of shit with a single digit number of teeth. I think those standards are very loose, but we'll use them nonetheless to get a "best case" scenario. My standards. We'll say that they have to have no kids, never married, and an IQ of at least 130. Pretty low standards for me... but again, we're after best case scenario. In fact, we'll omit the kids thing for the sake of making calculations easier and further boosting that best case scenario number.
The percentage of people that have an IQ 130 or higher is 5% or 1/20
okay so using simple probability we'll find what percent of the population will be single and up to my standards at age 30 by simply multiplying the two probabilities together to get the probability that I will find somebody that is single and up to my standards.
1/20*1/4 = 1/80 or... 1.25% So, effectively if I meet a hundred 30 year olds. One, and one quarter of a person (maybe a tiny little midget) will be up to my standards. Keep in mind, that is setting very limited restrictions. If I inserted other qualifiers, the number would drop even further. if i wanted a pretty girl, we'll say in the top 2/3 of girls aesthetically speaking... that takes my number down to .4% which is 1 out of 240 girls or so. If i met a thousand thirty year olds... (unlikely since I'm a bit on the shy side) four of them would be potential mates. Those numbers make me feel old. They make me feel like the most likely scenario in my life is that I'll never get married, or that I'll settle for somebody who ultimately won't make me happy... I'm beyond excited about this... woot motherfucking woot! Oh, and if by some stroke of fate, divine intervention, rain dance, lucky rabbits foot, four leaf clover or some other magical mystical occurence, I do find a partner... The chances of us remaining married is less than half. it's okay, never ye fret though... I'm more of a the glass is .2% full kind of guy than a the glass is 99.8% empty kind of guy
let's end on a positive note shall we. I'll make an objective list of the qualities that I am looking for in a partner. This is something that I think everybody should do. If you don't know exactly what you want, it's not nearly as easy to recognize it when it comes along.
must haves:
sense of humor (and preferably wit)
intelligence
financial responsibility
ambition
positive attitude
thoughtful
pretty (but only to the point that I don't want to vomit when I see them).
mature and serious, but with a silly, carefree youthful side as well.
would like them to haves:
be vegetarian, or at least enjoy vegetarian cuisine enough to the point that going out to eat isn't a struggle.
speak another language
a desire to learn new things... constantly. somebody who enjoys expanding their mind
good grammar (ignore mine for ze moment)
the ability to compromise and approach conflict in a healthy way that leads to resolution.
likes tiger army :)
college graduate
I'm sure the list will expand when it's not 4:42 am and I'm not multitabling poker on a klonopine :)
sleepy time. Hip hip hooray fuckers. Tomorrow shall be a glorious day
a few asides... couples who got married for the first time between ages 20-23 reported the greatest level of happiness in their marriage. Couples 28 years and older had the highest percentage of unhappiness in their marriage.
Fifty percent of first marriages will end in divorce, according to the latest U.S. Census Bureau projections, taken in 2002.
I did some digging around, and I found some interesting information about marriage and the like.
The percentage of women ages 30-34 who have never been married is 22 percent. hmmm. not so bad I suppose. Now what percent of those people are "marriage material" according to my standards? First, to preface my standards... I'm going to aim low with what I want from a woman, and for the sake of argument, I'll exclude using bayesian inference and personal judgments to wittle that 22% to an even more pathetic number. We're sticking with 22%... no, in fact, let's give it an artificial bump and call it 1/4. The assumption is that each person is equally likely to get married... from a stunning millionaire supermodel; to a wife beating, broke, pile of shit with a single digit number of teeth. I think those standards are very loose, but we'll use them nonetheless to get a "best case" scenario. My standards. We'll say that they have to have no kids, never married, and an IQ of at least 130. Pretty low standards for me... but again, we're after best case scenario. In fact, we'll omit the kids thing for the sake of making calculations easier and further boosting that best case scenario number.
The percentage of people that have an IQ 130 or higher is 5% or 1/20
okay so using simple probability we'll find what percent of the population will be single and up to my standards at age 30 by simply multiplying the two probabilities together to get the probability that I will find somebody that is single and up to my standards.
1/20*1/4 = 1/80 or... 1.25% So, effectively if I meet a hundred 30 year olds. One, and one quarter of a person (maybe a tiny little midget) will be up to my standards. Keep in mind, that is setting very limited restrictions. If I inserted other qualifiers, the number would drop even further. if i wanted a pretty girl, we'll say in the top 2/3 of girls aesthetically speaking... that takes my number down to .4% which is 1 out of 240 girls or so. If i met a thousand thirty year olds... (unlikely since I'm a bit on the shy side) four of them would be potential mates. Those numbers make me feel old. They make me feel like the most likely scenario in my life is that I'll never get married, or that I'll settle for somebody who ultimately won't make me happy... I'm beyond excited about this... woot motherfucking woot! Oh, and if by some stroke of fate, divine intervention, rain dance, lucky rabbits foot, four leaf clover or some other magical mystical occurence, I do find a partner... The chances of us remaining married is less than half. it's okay, never ye fret though... I'm more of a the glass is .2% full kind of guy than a the glass is 99.8% empty kind of guy
let's end on a positive note shall we. I'll make an objective list of the qualities that I am looking for in a partner. This is something that I think everybody should do. If you don't know exactly what you want, it's not nearly as easy to recognize it when it comes along.
must haves:
sense of humor (and preferably wit)
intelligence
financial responsibility
ambition
positive attitude
thoughtful
pretty (but only to the point that I don't want to vomit when I see them).
mature and serious, but with a silly, carefree youthful side as well.
would like them to haves:
be vegetarian, or at least enjoy vegetarian cuisine enough to the point that going out to eat isn't a struggle.
speak another language
a desire to learn new things... constantly. somebody who enjoys expanding their mind
good grammar (ignore mine for ze moment)
the ability to compromise and approach conflict in a healthy way that leads to resolution.
likes tiger army :)
college graduate
I'm sure the list will expand when it's not 4:42 am and I'm not multitabling poker on a klonopine :)
sleepy time. Hip hip hooray fuckers. Tomorrow shall be a glorious day
a few asides... couples who got married for the first time between ages 20-23 reported the greatest level of happiness in their marriage. Couples 28 years and older had the highest percentage of unhappiness in their marriage.
Fifty percent of first marriages will end in divorce, according to the latest U.S. Census Bureau projections, taken in 2002.
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