oh the gall... part two. hyperflinks are a chink in my armor.

my mother, like me, just had a "cholecystectomy, She is currently convaslescing nicely. Her surgery went a lot better than mine (thank god). In a bit of pain, but she is doing pretty well, and should be back to semi-normal very soon. I ordered a "light box, today. It should be here friday. That excites me greatly. I am curious how it will effect me. I'm convinced that I have a condition called "delayed sleep phase syndrome., and i pray that this helps me. It gets here friday. more news to come I'm sure. Today I was just trying to teach myself a little bit of html code, and hyper links and such. I hope that it worked out well. if not. apologies. Tomorrow, i have a list of tasks to do. fill ambien, buy chucks, go to the bank, etc. etc. i need to remember those. Whit, I am excited for my true religion jeans. you are the best. it is 1:22. that means it is time to take my final remaining half pill of ambien. Oh. caveat. If I ever helped you in any way, small, big, whatever. don't forget about me. I need some help of my own, and it seems that everyone i have helped have moved on and aren't there to help me, despite how much I need it. Who knew this would be a sad blog. it was supposed to be a "hyper" text email. tis all. I'm eligible for an upgraded phone. any suggestions anbyody? probably through t mobile... and I can't text on a touch screen because I shake too much. and of you close to my mom, call her, check in on her. she's a lovely lady, and deserves to know that people care about her and such. Wrote a paper for school tonight. miss school. i wish to go back. i probably won't. i need a 9-5 job i need structure, and i need a social network. I think i'm giving my social life until january first, and if not. mail order bride. I have been looking into \ mail order brides, and I think that if by the end of the year something doesn't change, I'm going to make that happen. I'm going to go watch ambien and take a house.


dyslexic kisses to you all.

lane

secret/girl/house season 6

this blog is about a girl. you know who you are. I have had lots of fun with you lately. Thank you for coming around lately and making me feel less sad. Your smile, your wit, your cooking (well, not yours), and your gregarious, sarcastic nature make me laugh, and get me out of my shell a little bit. there is a fire that burns inside your eyes, i think it's a mix of compassion, dedication, and focus. but looking in your eyes, i feel more alive. there's a cadence to your voice. it lifts up predictably and you predictably lift me up. thank you for helping me through life when I feel like I need a hand. It's been tough lately, but you have helped immensely. hopefully I'll talk to you tomorrow, and then perhaps go out on the weekend. meet me some friends, and fix me. love you all. I have a secret. I can't tell any of you guys though. sorry :(

i watched house premier last night too. I liked it. not loved it. I'm very anxious to see how it goes from here though. such a good show :) <3

wen wen

degaussed.

and this is why i love brand new.
if you kids haven't hear this song, enjoy the lyrics. so good.

Goodbye to sleep
I think this staying up is exactly what I need
Well take apart your head
Take apart the counting, and the flock it has bred

Goodbye to love
Well it's a ride that will push you up
Right against the wall
Take apart your head
Right against the wall
Chew it up and swallow it


You're brought back but you're running
I fell asleep at the incline
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything right

Goodbye you liar
Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(And I wish I could inspire)
Take apart the demon, up in the attic to the left

(Goodbye my love)
You're brought back but you're running
(You wait right here, and they will come and pick you up)
Let's sleep at the incline
(I've been on pause, but I'm shaking off the rust)
I can't shake this tiny feeling
(I've lost my charge, I've been degaussed)
I'll never say anything right

(I'm on my own, I've been degaussed)
I'll never say anything right
(I'm on my own, I've been degaussed)
I'll never say anything right
(I'm on my own, I've been degaussed)
I'll never say anything right
I'm on my own

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say, "I don't mind you under my skin.
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in"
Well when we were made we were set apart
But life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming
The storm is coming in

You're brought back but you're running
I fell asleep at the incline
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything right

I'm on my own
I'll never get anything right
I'm on my own

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
Well you're my favorite bird and when you sing
I really do wish that you'd wear my ring
No matter what they say, I am still the king
And now the storm is coming
The storm is coming in

"brand new" "muse"ings

I slummed around chat rooms today. It was actually a lot of fun. I "met" a ton of people, and had conversations with a ton of them via messenger. ha. good times. it allowed me to practice both my typing, my wit, and my social(asocial) skills. and, I played in a poker tournament during it, took second and won 171 dollars. can't complain. oh shit... i washed my sweaters though, and I forgot to put them in ze damn dryer. bollocks.

i should be asleep. I'm not. what's new?
I'm interested to see how the next couple weeks play out. it appears to be a transitional week for me. it's like a fork in the road, or a point before the eight legs of an octopus perhaps. there are a few different outcomes. but interesting. I am attracted to girl's with borderline personality disorder. it's tragic tragic tragic.

again, house starts soon. yay.
i want to play basketball.
i want to go snowmobiling
I'm a radical anarchist with a strange family that ages backwards.
i know you're wrong about sleep apnea.

my brain is too random. eek! I can't take it. I bet you blog readers wish to bathe my eyeballs in windex and soak my wounded hands in cobra venom. ataris concert friday with one of my bestest friends jee-hye. exciting... tomorrow, think that I will listen to the muse album some more and more. I dig it. everyone should listen. I'll listen to the brand new album and the muse album. it'll be awesome.

*blows kiss*
chee ow.

sentimental, sincere, hopeful... but fritzy phone. :/

phone is on the fritz. I try to respond to texts or calls, but i usually don't get them, and it's difficult if not impossible to send them. bk mocha joe, I plan on drinking two of you tomorrow morning. Waking up = not fun. I still wish to be good at sleeping. someday. sigh. The new house episode is in less that a week. john stewart and colbert started back up again today. It's been a good week for television.
I have good friends that I hang out quite a bit of the time now.
Jeff,
clint,
gaz,
and andrew and mer when they aren't busy.

hope to expand and broaden my circle until it becomes a globe. But, I only deal with sincere nice people now... so others, don't apply. If you're sincere, kick ass and nice, apply. Hopefully I'll hang out with mike more. I love and miss that kid. I'm shy, i need to get out of they shy funk. but it seems like a downward spiral. I have to right the ship, and set out on my voyage of clear destination. anyone that makes me more social or introduces me to new people will be forever remembered, and i will be forever indebted to you. I just need more friends. nice friends, friends that are single, nice, etc. anyone that makes it happen... a million hugs to you.

i believe that my pupils snuggle with my eyelids. millions of hugs, and kisses on a boat.

lane

move your eyes. okkkay?

I wrote this the other day. I neglected to publish it.

I read a lot about EMDR today. Previously, I thought that it was only implicated in the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder, but apparently, the inventor, as well as the psychological literature suggest otherwise. For those that don't know EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It is a very intriguing source of research to me. From preliminary research, I have heard that it is just as effective as cognitive behavioral therapy or exposure methods In treating PTSD. Not only that, but it seems to work a lot faster. It's potential applications for depression or anxiety in general greatly intrigue me... and I think I just may purchase a book about it and give it a perusing. Lately I am thinking about writing a psychology blog to chronicle all the fascinating and cutting edge treatments that I come across. Maybe to educate some people on various disorders etc. Somebody come up with a clever title for it. That's your job. I also want to write a political blog. however, in this current entry, I don't feel like writing too much more. I threw away like 20 pairs of levis today, organized every drawer in my house, folded all my sweaters and was productive as shit. That's awesome. I think that I will go to sleep now. I watched tyson too. I liked it. watch it. ate lunch with my brother. Tried a beta blocker to stop my shaking. worked very well. I'm excited to go to sleep (or try). I love the new used album. kill the faggots, kill the lesbians, goddamn kill them all. That speech is classic crazy. If none of you have heard it, google it, kill whitey speech or something like that. wow. just wow. Khallid Muhammad or something like that.

"Don't feed me scraps from your bed. I won't be the cat that keeps coming back, just to be fed..."

7 cheers for folding all my sweaters. 8 cheers to proximity. 9 lives to cats.
meow, that's all for now.

racist kkkisses to you all.

and I have no idea why this got all formatted weird. shittay.

Dum spiro spero

amor vincit omnia, amantes sus amentes. I think I'm in love with sanity. venni vetti vecci. the fire rages on. Immodica ira creat insaniam. Non sum qualis eram. i am but my shell of a former self. Non est vivere sed valere vita est. Omnes una manet nox. Periculum in mora, Non sum qualis eram
this was horrible to me, it's all greek to me :p or latin, or whatever. i gunno go nighty nighthy ambi4n and sleep. kiss3s